THE END

At last...it's settled between me & M...she really gave up.I try to save it...and it doesnt work.I din blame her...a rs suppose to b happy right?Since she is not..so am letting her go...She say am selfish..bad temper....and I will never think abt her feelings...I accept what she say because its wat she is feeling towards me...so means its not fake..a friend told me the other night...when something is destine to belong to you..no matter what...it will be yours...but when it is not destine to you..means no matter how hard you try...how firm you are not to give in...at the end of the day...it will not be yours too...maybe I should try to believe abt her sayings.

I cry out...and it does makes me feel better...thanz M...for giving me another lesson of my life.She is right...every single rs that I have failed...its cause by me...they went for sumone else..its also because am not good enuff for them..about temper...something i can't control...but for M....she cant take it...as I remember...i do told her that before the same thing that I cant accept her temper...but I still give in and patch back with her...because I know I love her...and I got to acceot everything about it...but this time...mayb I just not lucky enuf...she choose to walk away after 2 years...and I wish her the best...smile...smile for a better day...for the first time I vow to spend the rest of my life wif a gal...and it still didnt works..hahaha..

I dont wish to force her to give in...she even say she intend to block me if I keep anooying her...hahaha...why I didnt do so last time?I couldnt make her stay...so I open up my heart...to let her go...I miss her...very much indeed...a birthday turns out to be a break up...a very well lesson from her..I thought I will be different for her..but I guess I lied to myself....

Okay..since the break up thing is over...then let's just put it in the muzium..thou I think before to suicide...to leave things and go to another world which might suits me more..Since small I was afraid of dying...afraid of loosing the loves one...family...but when I ask myself..y are you afraid now? I choose to try another world not because M decided to break up..its because I have try my best in this world...to be a better person...to bring happiness to people...to love sumone from my heart...but it fails...but before I leave...I wish to celebrate dad's birthday first...next month August dad's burfday is here...We will have a great day with dad before leaving...

About my work...I quitted this morning...after attending the training...during the triaining seminar...I didnt hear a single thing from the speaker...I walked up to John...and I told him that I thinks that I didnt suits this job...and I have decided to quit...I walked away once I have finished toking...which I didnt give him any chance to say anything..of coz...I did it on purposely...because I dun want to answer any of the question....

So..guess this will be the last blog from me...Chris Wong...I think to delete this blog before leaving...but after thinking about it...I prefer to keep it as a memory....Dont worry..its not because I havent let go of M yet...just as a memory...tats all...even when I left...as least there is this blog...who still have me....

Goodbye...

11-07-2008 (Friday)

Single & not looking...

I got wat you mean...you gave it up this time...and I guess I dun deserve you...I never know this were meant for a break up..for the first time since been a while...I never simply say break up jus because we argue..but when am successfully did it...it's oredi too late..funny rite?thanz for this break up birthday gift surprise.

I'll appreciate every moment we walked thru...

Beeboo...boobee

11-07-2008 (Friday)

Standing at the balcony...till sunsets...I skipped work today...my mind werent at work...so I dun wanna force myself...I keep waiting...and waiting...and waiting...till sunsets....

Not even a word from M....not even a single word....I dun dare to view or read M's blog anymore...I dont have the courage to do so...

Am angry...am upset....about myself...if its mean to be an misunderstanding...I have to accept it with faith..if its mean for us to walk different path...I accept it with heavy heart...

Another failure...goodbye.

11-07-2008 (Friday)

Read M's blog...its all about the past...how shitty I am..how bad am I..it was all my fault.My bad for being not good..not up to her wants...

I..suppose its very clear...all this while...whatever she do always correct..ok den..she say she give in too many times...till too tired..I dun need her to do so..dun give in...dun ever do tat..because I dun wanna heard those how tired she is..you are comfy this way..be with it.I dun wanna argue..

I say before...I dun want keep looking back..tomorrow is my 27th birthday...I promise myself..I wunt look back...I dun need M to celebrate with me...I dun even need her to wish me...since she is so tired...stop doing all den.I wunt give in...she thinks is all right...y shld I feel wrong?

"Happy Birthday Chris....."

10-11-2008 (Thursday)

Been 2 days I didnt hear from M.Guess we have involve in a cold war..I do miss her..I just feel...lost i guess??arrgghh....stop here....i wanna sleep..i dun wanna think so much...just let it be..Nite

boing~

boing boing~

SURPRISED? WAHAHAHAHAAA!!

05-07-2008 (Saturday)

Woke up around 12pm...ahhhh..feels so good coz can sleep late..SMS M..to tell her I am awake..M need to work extra time today...er...dunno she need to do what calling things..Actually we plan to go down to town centre to have my haircut done..pay off credit card bills..handphone bills...etc etc...but since she need to go back to office today...so we decided to cancel today plans and bring it forward to tomorrow..But am planning to meet up M also later on..maybe for dinner..Am happy..and proud of M..coz nowadays I feel like she is really getting more matured..in terms of work especially..I know she is under going stress from work..the work load..the responsible..the task..even she is complaining alot..but I am glad she still hold on to it..after complain...back to work again!!..I love you darling...gambateh!!!

Another thing that am so happy about is...about my blog page!!M purposely put yore yore picture in my blog since I really dunno how to do it..told ya...M is a pro!!!its so nice and sweet of her..surprise from her..hahaha..thanks again beeboo gal!!

Work sucks...dont't ask why or how sucks it is..am not in the mood of explaining...but luckily M is always there for me to release my stress.But still...here I am sitting here to keep on sending emails to people..hope can get a few new clients for this month..if not end of this month I sure kena boom by my supervisot...got warning from his last Wednesday..got to increase my sales..get more new clients..if not..he ask me to take care of myself..god!!..

Burfday coming soon...yayayayaya...27 liaw...means more matured and more "man"..M sure vomit when reading this...but admit it..you just love me..everything about me!!the way am being perasan...the way am being sohai...the way am being so cute..dont you think so darling beeboo??For this year burfday..nothing special..like the previous year..1st day will b having dinner wif parents...den 2nd day will be wif beeboo..M...dun worry about what gift to get for my burfday because all I ever wanted is only YOU!!Loves you...

Got to stop here for now..need to continue to send my junks of email..with the connection here..its like taking a year to send an email..great...

01-07-2008 (Tuesday)

Again..me & M argues and broke up.The break up thingy voice by me again...

I broke her heart...did I?Or she do feel relief about this break up?She say i played her out.She thought I voice out break up for fun..but its all because of the emotional thingy..I feel so depressed...arghhh...stop complaining...

She say she won't give me any chance to broke her heart anymore...so...understanding la right?But I wonder...does she know..she broke my heart too??Always arguing about my ex's..lack of attention...so need to seek some attention from me...but does it have to be this topic?I have walk forwards and put all the past behind me...including all my ex's.No point keep looking back..sometimes when I think back about what happened in the past...am so glad me & my ex's make it thru...and able to become friends again..I am happy for them who can find their true love again..who loves n treat them well...so as them..who is glad that I at last can find someone who I can share my life with...I guess the only person who can't see this point is M.

I will still live on...a better one....because I just finish graduate from a great lesson.As always..I hope M will live a better life than mine...I don't wanna look back anymore...I wanna move on.Breaking her heart again & again makes me feel like a totally jerk...I thought I suppose to love her with all my heart..but it totally turn out the other way..funny right..the more I try to get things right...the worst it turns to...

God...I pray to you with my deepest heart..that you can heal her heart...from the hurt that I've done to her..pls forgive me..

Chris Wong & Michelle Thong

30-06-2008 (Monday)

"Rain, Rain...go away...come again another day.....little beeboo wanna play....rain rain....go away.."

This song sing by M when am fetching her home after our little super at Fat One BBQ Steamboat...so cute..was happy to spend time with her today...since Mum n Dad are not around..so I meet up M...have a quick dinner with her and her aunt...Right after meal...we went for our regular activities again...ONLINE!!!...hahaha...will never get bored with that..

Another month passed...hmm...work is still the same..my superior starts to give us real pressure liaw..what to do...no business...but luckily still can maintain...need to try harder again this month..so..pray hard..will work this time...or else I really need to find another job..But seriously that is not what I really wanted to do..the pay is good...plus...am not those kind who like to change job regularly...but this job..really sucks...been complaining to M for the moment..she also suggest me to change job...but accept the fact..the pay is good..plus..every single thing now is so so so expensive especially the petrol...if I get a lower pay job..I can't imagine how would I survive thru it...so I will try my best to keep this job..no matter what...money money money...its all about it!

Ok..let's see...hmm...nothing much special happen this few days...the the air-cond in my room is really annoying me..cant get a really good sleep nowadays...I was like wanna explode the air cond in the middle of the night...aarrgghh~~!!!Pray hard the new house will be ready soon to move in...cant wait!!!suffering in this temporarily house...plus...is a single bed..I guess M also not comfortable sleeping over at my place..both our giant body have to squeeze in the single bed size...can u imagine how suckie it is??....once the house is ready to move in...den we can only have a better sleep n place..I guess that's what M hope for too..:P

That's all for today...need to ask M to teach how to put yore yore pic as background for my blog..very dull la my blog...M's one very nice..she always change the background color and design de....what to do...she's the pro...kekeke...muacks!!

I love you sweetie.....beeboo??bieboo???which one???

23-06-2006 (Monday)

Hmm....Monday = Monday's Blue...feels like my bone is crashing....the past weekend was a tiring one..Saturday...went to CC with M...hang around there for about 5 hrs..we were playing online game like mad..but we enjoy it very much.We are so into online games...always..M was busy downloading new songs...den loaded it into IPOD..den around 10 sth we went off from CC heading for dinner...Porridge Steamboat...one's of my and M's favourite.Den after that we decided to went home early since M got things to do and need to use my notebook..as M was doing her stuff (burning DVD...load songs....) I also do my email list..kinda enjoy that environment because we will buwie each other while doing our own things...*winks*..and at arounf 3.00 am in the morning..we head to bed to get some rest...

Sunday....ahaks...woke up around 12.00pm in the afternoon...to my surprise...M's the one who keep on bugging me to wake up..usually it's me who have to keep on bugging M to wake up..so we had a late breaky (parent ta pau...)...den we lepak in my room..discussing where to go...thought wanna go CC again...den suddenly Mum wanna go see furniture..as our new house is gonna start renovating soon..the furniture sight seeing was a boring one...ends up buying nothing..headache...Then after the boring sight seeing thingy..we went to 1U for dinner and window shopping..Have a heavy Jap's meal..not bad the food but cant remember what's the name of it...Me and M wondering in 1U without any direction...just to pass time before meeting parents to head home..

Sometimes I think weekends are more tiring den normal working days...hahaha..but I enjoy sharing my time with M..she really makes me very happy...we always tease each other...buwie each other...and always think each other very "soh hai"..cause we always do silly things to make each other laugh...like Sunday's afternoon...I pretend die...and M was doing some silly actions pretending she is so so so upset coz I die..but instead acting upset..M do all those silly stuff..laugh till tummy oso pain...but it doesnt matter...because wat matters is we both enjoy it!!!

Hm..gonna got to go out work soon...so means I got to stop blogging for now..to be continued...but dunno when..LOL...

Love you honey Michelle....my fei mui chai..

19-06-2008 (Thursday)

This morning was a lazy one...damn sleepy...wish till die that can sleep more...extra 1hr also satisfy.Last night before went to bed was on the phone with M....end up arguing again..I guess whatever I say will trigger M to scold me..I just don't know what to say..no mood..signing off..

17/06/2008 (Tuesday)

Today (17th June 2008) is me and M 2nd year anniversary day. It is a very special day for both of us.This 2 years has not been easy at all for both of us.We been through a lot of things..I really mean A LOT….there were happy and sad…tears of joy and sad..sweet memories

…I stopped a moment..

All memories keep on flashing back in front of my eyes..the very 1st day we meet…the very 1st moment we are together…the very 1st time we hold hands…the very 1st kiss…I took out my PDA….play on a MV that is specially made & design by M herself..The song title of this MV is “Stary Stary Night” sung by Vincent..which is a very romantic and sweet song.In this MV..is all about me & M pictures that we have taken together during these 2 years of our precious moments.Every single picture…every flip…have its own stories..while I was glancing thru the picture in this MV…my tears eventually came down pouring. I don’t know why I am acting so emotionally…since it’s not the first time I watch it…everytime..every single time when I playback this MV..the stories of every picture touched my heart.

And I stopped a moment again…to wipe off my tears….

There were no words or feelings that describe this kinda feelings I am going through now….but if I had to say it out..all I can say is…I feel so blessed to have M in my life..she’s the one..I am lucky to have her to walk with me through out my life..for her to accept a person like me….I cant’ imagine how much she had suffered.For all the things she have gave in and those comings in future…I would like her to know that I really appreciate all the things…the love…the care…the understandings…nothing in the world can replace all of them…as it will always be in my heart.

I bought a bouquet of flowers which I have ordered earlier on for M. Since I dun have much experience on doing all these romantic things…I just hope M will like what I have choose for her.It was meant to be a surprise because I ask the florist to deliver the flowers to M’s office during morning.But I guess she already can guess what am I ups to earlier on..

To the more coming days in my relationship with M…I wish upon that we will hold our hands together tight…to walk together in the same path…till the end of our life.

“ Happy 2nd Year Anniversary ”……I love you forever…..

17th June 2008

The early morning view from Merang jetty..

14-06-2008 (Saturday)

wow...the first word thats on my mind for the early start of the day.I just feel great...for everything.Am so glad and relief that me & M get back together again for a new start.This time she say she will change.I know it takes alot of courage for her to do so and making such decision.Am so proud of her.Things were great so far between me & M.We spend time together last night at Sunway Pymarid Mall...dinner...walks around...and again we went to CC..which is our favourite place.Don't know why, me & M just love hanging out at CC..we both like online games I guess..most of our dating time were spent in CC..hahaha...funny couple rite?

This morning was kinda annoyed by my colluegue, Mr.T...which forever know only how to talk big but did nothing.Everyday...every single day when he step into the office...what he only do is play play play online games.Never do a single thing at all.His paper work...worst...never hand in at all...always on leave...and yet he can still be able to keep his current job (RM 2,200.00/mth).Sometimes l think it is so unfair where people like us work like a cow only able to keep our job going on..but with Mr.T attitude he is earning the same what we get.Sometimes I wonder wether my manager, Mr.J is blind or what.Speechless...I try not to bother about it but when everytime I look at Mr.T shit face....my anger just burst out!!And what I hate most about Mr.T is...he always talk big like what he talk all got sense but for me its nonsense!!!Because what he do best is just TALK TALK TALK TALK!!!

But don't be bother about it because I don't want a jerk like Mr.T spoil my mood and the rest of my day..got a long day to go...will go for movie with M after work.Den later at the day we will go for CC marathon..LOL...we just love it~~!Tomorrow is 15th June, it's Father's Day..gonna have dinner with Dad as usual..plus my relative..so boring..me and M get Dad's a small gift for papa's day..and we are glad that he actually like it..thanks to M who always been my side to support me in whatever I do..including getting Dad's gift!!!Love ya sweetie..beeboo beeboo....boobee boobee!

12-06-2008 (Thursday)

Wake up in a dizzy and blur condition, I quickly wash up myself and get ready for work as usual. Not that usual actually..things were different from now on which I don't know its temporary or for permanent time.I cry last night...till eventually I fall asleep without knowing what time it is. I know I will cry..loosing M was a big impact to me. This was a 2nd day without her in my life.I feels difficult in everything...But what could I say and do?There is no turning back this time.Though we have been through this many times before and eventually at the end we will patch up back but not this time.This time is for real...where I want it to be real and serious.Its not that I don't love her anymore...I love her more than myself..more than anything else in the world.I just couldnt tolerate anymore with her attitude..she claims she can't change..not even a single thing about it.She told either to accept or just leave it.I try before to accept..I really did...and finally I gave up after trying with all I can.But I never blame M for everything.I might just not the who deserve her..for I can't accept the whole attitude thing about her.I force myself to leave this relationship as for the best terms to both of us.

I pray hard that M will live a life better than mine..met someone who can accept the whole of her...makes her happy...I know this is not going to easy for me..I try to make myself focus on other thing else..keep on reminding myself that its for the good sake.I know i might never gonna see her again or even hear from her anymore as I know she doesnt wanna be friends with me.The whole day my mind were wondering somewhere else where I don't even know where.I keep glancing at my phone..hoping she will call or text me..but end up disappointed.I miss her, I can't deny that.Hope tomorrow will be a better day...specially for M.

beeboo boy....