At last...it's settled between me & M...she really gave up.I try to save it...and it doesnt work.I din blame her...a rs suppose to b happy right?Since she is not..so am letting her go...She say am selfish..bad temper....and I will never think abt her feelings...I accept what she say because its wat she is feeling towards me...so means its not fake..a friend told me the other night...when something is destine to belong to you..no matter what...it will be yours...but when it is not destine to you..means no matter how hard you try...how firm you are not to give in...at the end of the day...it will not be yours too...maybe I should try to believe abt her sayings.
I cry out...and it does makes me feel better...thanz M...for giving me another lesson of my life.She is right...every single rs that I have failed...its cause by me...they went for sumone else..its also because am not good enuff for them..about temper...something i can't control...but for M....she cant take it...as I remember...i do told her that before the same thing that I cant accept her temper...but I still give in and patch back with her...because I know I love her...and I got to acceot everything about it...but this time...mayb I just not lucky enuf...she choose to walk away after 2 years...and I wish her the best...smile...smile for a better day...for the first time I vow to spend the rest of my life wif a gal...and it still didnt works..hahaha..
I dont wish to force her to give in...she even say she intend to block me if I keep anooying her...hahaha...why I didnt do so last time?I couldnt make her stay...so I open up my heart...to let her go...I miss her...very much indeed...a birthday turns out to be a break up...a very well lesson from her..I thought I will be different for her..but I guess I lied to myself....
Okay..since the break up thing is over...then let's just put it in the muzium..thou I think before to suicide...to leave things and go to another world which might suits me more..Since small I was afraid of dying...afraid of loosing the loves one...family...but when I ask myself..y are you afraid now? I choose to try another world not because M decided to break up..its because I have try my best in this world...to be a better person...to bring happiness to people...to love sumone from my heart...but it fails...but before I leave...I wish to celebrate dad's birthday first...next month August dad's burfday is here...We will have a great day with dad before leaving...
About my work...I quitted this morning...after attending the training...during the triaining seminar...I didnt hear a single thing from the speaker...I walked up to John...and I told him that I thinks that I didnt suits this job...and I have decided to quit...I walked away once I have finished toking...which I didnt give him any chance to say anything..of coz...I did it on purposely...because I dun want to answer any of the question....
So..guess this will be the last blog from me...Chris Wong...I think to delete this blog before leaving...but after thinking about it...I prefer to keep it as a memory....Dont worry..its not because I havent let go of M yet...just as a memory...tats all...even when I left...as least there is this blog...who still have me....
Goodbye...
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