THE END

At last...it's settled between me & M...she really gave up.I try to save it...and it doesnt work.I din blame her...a rs suppose to b happy right?Since she is not..so am letting her go...She say am selfish..bad temper....and I will never think abt her feelings...I accept what she say because its wat she is feeling towards me...so means its not fake..a friend told me the other night...when something is destine to belong to you..no matter what...it will be yours...but when it is not destine to you..means no matter how hard you try...how firm you are not to give in...at the end of the day...it will not be yours too...maybe I should try to believe abt her sayings.

I cry out...and it does makes me feel better...thanz M...for giving me another lesson of my life.She is right...every single rs that I have failed...its cause by me...they went for sumone else..its also because am not good enuff for them..about temper...something i can't control...but for M....she cant take it...as I remember...i do told her that before the same thing that I cant accept her temper...but I still give in and patch back with her...because I know I love her...and I got to acceot everything about it...but this time...mayb I just not lucky enuf...she choose to walk away after 2 years...and I wish her the best...smile...smile for a better day...for the first time I vow to spend the rest of my life wif a gal...and it still didnt works..hahaha..

I dont wish to force her to give in...she even say she intend to block me if I keep anooying her...hahaha...why I didnt do so last time?I couldnt make her stay...so I open up my heart...to let her go...I miss her...very much indeed...a birthday turns out to be a break up...a very well lesson from her..I thought I will be different for her..but I guess I lied to myself....

Okay..since the break up thing is over...then let's just put it in the muzium..thou I think before to suicide...to leave things and go to another world which might suits me more..Since small I was afraid of dying...afraid of loosing the loves one...family...but when I ask myself..y are you afraid now? I choose to try another world not because M decided to break up..its because I have try my best in this world...to be a better person...to bring happiness to people...to love sumone from my heart...but it fails...but before I leave...I wish to celebrate dad's birthday first...next month August dad's burfday is here...We will have a great day with dad before leaving...

About my work...I quitted this morning...after attending the training...during the triaining seminar...I didnt hear a single thing from the speaker...I walked up to John...and I told him that I thinks that I didnt suits this job...and I have decided to quit...I walked away once I have finished toking...which I didnt give him any chance to say anything..of coz...I did it on purposely...because I dun want to answer any of the question....

So..guess this will be the last blog from me...Chris Wong...I think to delete this blog before leaving...but after thinking about it...I prefer to keep it as a memory....Dont worry..its not because I havent let go of M yet...just as a memory...tats all...even when I left...as least there is this blog...who still have me....

Goodbye...

11-07-2008 (Friday)

Single & not looking...

I got wat you mean...you gave it up this time...and I guess I dun deserve you...I never know this were meant for a break up..for the first time since been a while...I never simply say break up jus because we argue..but when am successfully did it...it's oredi too late..funny rite?thanz for this break up birthday gift surprise.

I'll appreciate every moment we walked thru...

Beeboo...boobee

11-07-2008 (Friday)

Standing at the balcony...till sunsets...I skipped work today...my mind werent at work...so I dun wanna force myself...I keep waiting...and waiting...and waiting...till sunsets....

Not even a word from M....not even a single word....I dun dare to view or read M's blog anymore...I dont have the courage to do so...

Am angry...am upset....about myself...if its mean to be an misunderstanding...I have to accept it with faith..if its mean for us to walk different path...I accept it with heavy heart...

Another failure...goodbye.

11-07-2008 (Friday)

Read M's blog...its all about the past...how shitty I am..how bad am I..it was all my fault.My bad for being not good..not up to her wants...

I..suppose its very clear...all this while...whatever she do always correct..ok den..she say she give in too many times...till too tired..I dun need her to do so..dun give in...dun ever do tat..because I dun wanna heard those how tired she is..you are comfy this way..be with it.I dun wanna argue..

I say before...I dun want keep looking back..tomorrow is my 27th birthday...I promise myself..I wunt look back...I dun need M to celebrate with me...I dun even need her to wish me...since she is so tired...stop doing all den.I wunt give in...she thinks is all right...y shld I feel wrong?

"Happy Birthday Chris....."

10-11-2008 (Thursday)

Been 2 days I didnt hear from M.Guess we have involve in a cold war..I do miss her..I just feel...lost i guess??arrgghh....stop here....i wanna sleep..i dun wanna think so much...just let it be..Nite

boing~

boing boing~

SURPRISED? WAHAHAHAHAAA!!

05-07-2008 (Saturday)

Woke up around 12pm...ahhhh..feels so good coz can sleep late..SMS M..to tell her I am awake..M need to work extra time today...er...dunno she need to do what calling things..Actually we plan to go down to town centre to have my haircut done..pay off credit card bills..handphone bills...etc etc...but since she need to go back to office today...so we decided to cancel today plans and bring it forward to tomorrow..But am planning to meet up M also later on..maybe for dinner..Am happy..and proud of M..coz nowadays I feel like she is really getting more matured..in terms of work especially..I know she is under going stress from work..the work load..the responsible..the task..even she is complaining alot..but I am glad she still hold on to it..after complain...back to work again!!..I love you darling...gambateh!!!

Another thing that am so happy about is...about my blog page!!M purposely put yore yore picture in my blog since I really dunno how to do it..told ya...M is a pro!!!its so nice and sweet of her..surprise from her..hahaha..thanks again beeboo gal!!

Work sucks...dont't ask why or how sucks it is..am not in the mood of explaining...but luckily M is always there for me to release my stress.But still...here I am sitting here to keep on sending emails to people..hope can get a few new clients for this month..if not end of this month I sure kena boom by my supervisot...got warning from his last Wednesday..got to increase my sales..get more new clients..if not..he ask me to take care of myself..god!!..

Burfday coming soon...yayayayaya...27 liaw...means more matured and more "man"..M sure vomit when reading this...but admit it..you just love me..everything about me!!the way am being perasan...the way am being sohai...the way am being so cute..dont you think so darling beeboo??For this year burfday..nothing special..like the previous year..1st day will b having dinner wif parents...den 2nd day will be wif beeboo..M...dun worry about what gift to get for my burfday because all I ever wanted is only YOU!!Loves you...

Got to stop here for now..need to continue to send my junks of email..with the connection here..its like taking a year to send an email..great...